Body Language

Body Language

Do you know what your body language says about you? Do you understand what body language expresses? It's probably one of the most important areas of communication and yet is not something we are ever taught about formally.

Because we have verbal language which expresses abstract thoughts and ideas as well as factual data and our interpretation of what we're feeling, it dominates the more subtle function of body language. Yet we lie every day with words, that's when our body language can 'leak' our true feelings, it makes us uncomfortable to lie and our bodies show this.

So perhaps we can say that words express our thoughts and body language expresses what we feel about those thoughts. Have you ever smiled at someone you didn't like? Did it feel the same as smiling at someone you really do like?

The difference is in how you feel and it's very difficult to smile genuinely at someone you dislike, of course it can be done, after all, actors do it all the time, so do con men but they all practice this deceit, do you?

Body language is rich in content but must be viewed in context, after all even words change their meaning depending on the context in which you find them. So do body language gestures, take crossed arms for example, many experts will tell you that crossed arms means the person is 'closed' and non-receptive to you and/or your ideas.

But is their skin blue? Are they shivering? They may have their arms crossed because they're cold! So in the context of them feeling cold, crossed arms are a way of generating heat and may not have any bearing on their mindset.

However, if you're trying to persuade them of something, you'd probably do better to get them somewhere warm first. Why? Because the way we hold our bodies and our facial expressions alter the way we think, so even though a cold person with their arms crossed may not start out resistant to you and/or your ideas, the way they hold themselves can create a barrier between you.

The real lesson here is that you need the context to know how and why you can change their posture to change their thoughts.

Try it on yourself, stand with arms crossed as if they were a barrier when next you talk to someone and notice how you feel, then pay attention to how your body language causes them to react. Begin to watch how people interact and you will soon notice a whole silent subtext to any conversation.